A Week Without Driving*

“No” ruled. Guess what I did on Sunday? NOTHING. I slept in, bummed around, and then celebrated my dad’s birthday with my family. Saturday, I had nothing planned, so I went to work & caught up on some work I’d been stressing about. I’ll admit that a 7-hour shift on a weekend doesn’t sound like fun, but it was so nice & quiet at the office, I got a lot done! Bliss.

Lesson learned: Gonna try to say “no” more. I’ll always be busy, but this week I didn’t feel overwhelmed when important things came up…such as my brother-in-law’s homecoming party after a year in Iraq.

Today begins my Week Without Driving. You’ll notice I didn’t say “Week Without a Car”. I think I’ll walk more, but I’m still allowed to carpool. Also, because I’m a realist, I’m permitting myself one cheat: I’m allowed to drive to Southwest High School to meet with my Teammate. It’s 30 minutes across town by car & I have to fit it into my workday, so biking or waiting on a bus will not work for this one, and I cannot skip it. Ben carpooled with me this morning, and instead of driving to the gym, I biked on the trainer at home.

The more you "no"...

HARD! My brother-in-law returned home from Baghdad yesterday (yay!!). I went out with my fiance’s family to celebrate. His dad invited us to the symphony. I said “no”. This morning, my mom invited me to a craft show. And even though a couple of my artist friends will be showing, I said “no”. I realize this doesn’t sound difficult at all. For me, it's tough! Am I mean for saying no to the symphony? Will his dad think I don’t like it? Will my mom think I don’t have time for her? Wouldn’t I earn some points with my artist friends if I showed up?

Alas, this is the life of a neurotic.

A Week Without "Yes"

Did you ever see the movie “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey? He’s a negative guy who says “No” to every invitation, every favor, every friend – everything. I have the opposite problem. I say yes. To everyone. Every time. It’s taken me a LONG time to get this, but saying “yes” to everyone doesn’t make me a nice person. It doesn't make people like me. It just means I’m a crazy pushover who carries guilt when she turns anyone down. And in the rare event that I do say no, I always make sure to include a long explanation to (unsuccessfully) alleviate guilt. It’s not healthy.

This month, especially, I’m feeling the pressure: from friends, from family, from my job, and from volunteering. It seems like everyone needs something now, and they’re all important. Birthdays, sweeps, fundraisers…a girl’s likely to go nuts! I am depleted of sleep, time, and money from this “yes” habit.

Instead, I’m saying no this week and giving myself a staycation, hermit-style. So sorry, loved ones, but I’m practicing my “no” this week. “No, I can’t go out tonight.” “No, I can’t handle that this week.” No, I can’t help you tonight.” “No, I can’t stay late.”

And I’ll be repeating to myself “No, you’re not a bad person for saying ‘no’.” Think I’ll start to believe it?